Cripple Mr Onion

The Non-Gambling Game

At the beginning of each round, one player is identified as the Dealer, with the player to the Dealer's left as the Elder and the player to the Dealer's right as the Younger — this sets the order of precedence in being dealt cards and in winning in the event of a tie as Dealer, Elder, other players in order and, lastly, Younger. In the event that the Dealership changes, these identifiers move to be based around the new Dealer. The round opens when the Dealer shuffles the pack of all 104 cards and the Younger cuts the pack.

All the players are dealt five cards in this order: the Dealer receives two cards and deals all the other players, in order from Elder to Younger, three cards; the Dealer then receives three cards and deals the other players two (this is done to speed up the dealing, which isn't exactly the most interesting part of the game). Then, in turn, from Elder to Younger, each player discards up to four cards into the discard pot and announces the number of discards to the Dealer who replaces them from the top of the pack; the Dealer then discards and replaces, also announcing the number thrown away. It is important to note that up to this point all cards have been dealt face down, each player is only aware of their own cards and, by way of the draw, ought to have a better hand than was originally dealt.

The second set of five cards each is now dealt in the following way: the Dealer receives five cards face down on the table, and then, in turn from Elder to Younger, each other player is dealt five cards face up on the table. Cards dealt face up on the table must remain that way, although the owner of those cards may rearrange them there if desired.

Now the final part of the round, Showdown, takes place. Beginning from the Elder, the highest card grouping is declared and displayed on the table; if the player to the left of the Elder cannot equal, beat or play some modifier that affects the Elder's cards, that player's cards are all placed face up on the table, in their groupings if the player wishes, and that player is out of the round; the comparison of the next leftward player's cards with the Elder's then takes place. If the Elder's cards are equalled, then the next card grouping must be considered. If the Elder's cards are beaten, then the Elder has the opportunity to play a modifier or rearrange the card grouping in an attempt to obtain a better arrangement; once the Elder's cards are undoubtedly beaten, however, the Elder is out of the round and the comparison of the currently leading player's cards with the next leftward player's takes place. By this process of comparison, consideration of lower groupings, rearrangement of card groups and playing of modifiers, and knocking out of players, the holder of the best set of cards, between the Elder and the Younger, is found. Finally, the Dealer's cards are compared with the only player left in, and the process of finding the better cards is repeated; the player who holds the better cards has then won the game. Note that in the event of either a complete tie between two players' cards or an impasse due to circular use of modifiers, the player of greater seniority wins — often, this means that the Dealer wins. Once all the players but one have been knocked out, leaving the winner holding the best cards, the round is over, the cards and discards are collected up and the winner becomes the Dealer for the next round.